How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
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