Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Randomize
