lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize
