im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
