Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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