oh god the rape fog is back!
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize