Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
