If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
