I wanna bring you to show and tell
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Randomize
