his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Randomize
