I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
