Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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