ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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