I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize