Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Randomize
