One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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