Define "chronic" masturbator.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
