I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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