Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
