thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
