I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
