Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
