She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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