butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
