He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
