i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
