Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Randomize
