he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
