he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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