yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Randomize
