even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
