here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
