College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
