just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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