That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
