He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize