he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
