I CAN MOONWALK!
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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