I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize