If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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