That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
