No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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