no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
so let's talk penis.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
