This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
