I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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