what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
