I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
We have so much sex to catch up on
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
