I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
