You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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