i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
she pinky promised me she was 18
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
