Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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