So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
