you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
