I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
