we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
