Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
