I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
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