I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Never let your siblings swipe right.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
