I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
please come you make the beer taste better
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
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