Kiss
Puke
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
